I’ve been that female friend that insecure women seem not to like. I still have no idea why. At the age I am now, I don’t care anymore what broads that don’t know me or pay me have to think about me. I don’t have to sweat it any more.
I’ve always had male friends. I collect them! But most of the men in my life know that I have a husband, and they know that if they were to try and replace my husband, this would become a rapid problem with a quick solution. I don’t live my life to intimidate other people–I’m just trying to be great all by lonesome.
But one thing that I thought was funny happened to someone dear to me. She’s best friends with an ex, and her ex’s current squeeze doesn’t like that. So, her ex’s current girlfriend calls her a ‘threat’ to their relationship.
I thought that was a interesting word to use to describe how they relate and how his girlfriend feels about her. A threat. Like something dangerous. A spectre. A boogeyman or the monster living under her bed or closet; something that can or will immediately harm you or anyone you love. That’s a threat. When pressed as to why his ladyfriend felt that way, she said she didn’t know.
However, I have a really good idea.
My friend is pretty, smart and his dude is/may still be in love with her. They are good friends and talk about a great many things, but that’s all. For his girlfriend to label her a threat, means there is something going on that is beyond her. There is something his girlfriend is insecure about and it is manifesting in the blame of my friend. That as a woman, I have never been able to understand.
I get that preserving a relationship is always the better thing to do. The right thing to do even. But the thing that is smoldering is we too often forget no one come into our lives untouched. Everyone has a history. A story. A past. Some people’s pasts are more deeply rooted than others. There are people you encounter whom you may always care for. Or love. There are people that may ever make your eyes sparkle and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
But this doesn’t mean your relationship has to cease! I will say that if affection longstanding begins to cripple your relationship, you may need to examine your current relationship. Some attachments may need help to sever–some affection can cripple you from seeing anything else good that may come in your life.
So, this idea of an outsider being a threat? My first thought is what are you trying to protect, and what are you willing to do to protect it. A threat isn’t the person–the most viable threats always come from the inside.
I’m just saying.
[image from themindsjournal.com]