For A Fast Girl: What You Can’t Help

 

Black women are curvy. We have a natural sensuality, a presence really, that a lot of women don’t have. That power, for whatever reason, is the reason Black girls have the issues that they have. Perhaps this is why they are never totally looked at as the young girls they really are.

Hypersexuality robs girls of the joy of simply being. It forces them into adult spaces. Hypersexuality robs Black girls of the chance to celebrate their bodies, robbing them of the opportunity to love themselves independent of the validation of outside forces! The fact is Black girls grow into Black women, and Black women are these pieces of succulent forbidden fruit.  Want an example? Remember the movie Monster’s Ball? Don’t think about the sex scene (difficult I know). But I want you think about when Leticia (Halle Berry) took the hat to Hank’s(Billy Bob Thorton’s) house. When his Dad (Peter Boyle) was there, he took the hat from her and made this remark:

“Whew! You’re not a man until you split that dark oak!”

I remember being totally appalled when I heard this. I could not believe a phrase like ‘split that dark oak’  existed. Am I a prude? No. But I am quite in tune with my body and my sexuality. I’m aware of men of this character/actor’s age whom didn’t think that Black women could even be raped. They existed only for pleasure or deviant sexual expression, because they ‘couldn’t be raped’.

The quintessential whore.

Rather than tell a Black girl they can be preyed upon in the world, we often (too often) shame them. We shame them into this toxic state of being demure. We critique how they sit. How they walk. How long their skirt is or isn’t. Even how they wear their hair.  By controlling all aspects of their physical being, the hope is (or could be) they will not be or become desirable to men.

To MEN.

The onus is always on the girl.

A GIRL.  A female child under 18.

There must be conversations had that allow young men to respect young women. Regardless. Hypersexuality of Black girls is problematic and traumatic! Imagine at the age of 8, when your body begins to change, it is the trappings of womanhood that suddenly render you a little less than. A little more suspicious. A little more sexually accessible or ripe. Which, as a Black girl navigating the world, seems to be nonsensical:

I am a child in a world that does or may not see me as a child, yet I am to remain in a child’s place. By force. 

Fascinating, isn’t it?

It is this space that so many Black girls that I know have acknowledged, accepted and rebelled against. With this rebellion, in this rebelling, we as Black girls (now Black women) have to break down what it means to be called something which you cannot control!  The physical trappings of a girl do not make her a woman and don’t make the men attracted to a child right!

Being called ‘fast’ is the tip of this iceberg. The iceberg has broken off of a glacier, and it’s still breaking apart with each generation that confronts it.