The Weigh In: Toyko Toni & Black Chyna

First and foremost, these are my observations and opinions. I think this situation indicative of a greater problem. I don’t do reality TV for a reason. If you want a longer take, I suggest watching Funky Dineva on YouTube. This here? Chile, the ghetto.

 

I won’t lie to y’all, I didn’t know WHAT a Tokyo Toni was to Funky Dineva said she was Black Chyna’s mother. I was undone from there. With that said, what made me want to weigh in about this is a quote Black Chyna’s mother said in a confessional for this show:

“I don’t care if your mother sold your pussy to an army, you better respect her!”

 

I’m sorry. WHAT?!

And for the super-saved that roll by this post? Let me tell you something. I  know that you must honor and respect your parents, even if they are crazy. But this? No. No ma’am. Tokyo Toni is talking to her Black Chyna as if they were the same age. Or in high school. In Funky Dineva’s video, he said that this type of woman is a product of her environment. In watching this whole fight, my heart broke for her. In looking at this relationship, Black Chyna needs to make some decisions about the people she let’s in her circle. Immediately.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. All 38 years. I have seen ratchet. I’ve had my share of fights. I had to get some broads off me. I’ve been suspended. But at the being suspended for 3 days for a fight, it was my father that told me I was better than that. Meaning, there was an expectation about who I was–and would become.

I couldn’t do what everyone else did.

Now, I’m aware no everyone has the mitigating force of a present father. But, I know single mothers raising kids that have the same expectations! Moreover, call it respectability politics if you want to, but on some end? You cannot be the loud, ratchet , BROKE chick forever!

With that said, I think Tokyo Toni is jealous of her daughter. She acts like Black Chyna owes her something, and she is here to collect. This fight in the kitchen? That is some shit I would expect kids to do. However, if you don’t see better, you’ll never do better. If you see your body as vehicle not vessel–you’ll be rode hard and put up the same way. But this quote? That let me know what Black Chyna, what Angela, needed from her mother she cannot get–and never may.

That fight made me look at how I treat my own kids. How I let other people treat my kids. The neck-rolling. The cursing. The hands in the face. Chile, I cannot. I really can’t. And like Funky Dineva, believe the producers are predatory! They know how volatile these two are! But, ratings.

I don’t know why it is some  mothers (regardless of color) treat their daughters as if we have done something wrong! By living! As a daughter of a Black mother, I know there are things that I have done that she wishes I hadn’t. That she wished I would have listened. That she wished I have never gone through. As a mother now, I understand. But that disappointment cannot be allowed to root into me and make me think my daughter–her entire person–is a disappointment! I cannot use my trauma, my mistakes as a litmus for either of my children. Neither do I want to inflict that trauma on them either!

But I am sure, as this fight escalated, this woman wishes she was Chyna. Wished she could get these years back. The decisions back. Just, to do it over! She injects herself where she need not be. But, I get it. I do. And I feel bad for Tokyo Toni. I can’t imagine what it is like to look back at your grown children, and have them not respect you or see the imprint of your influence on or over their lives. Or, you do–and there’s nothing you can do.

Black Chyna has the chance, time and money to do better for her children. And I pray she does. There are more important things than bundles, nails and tattoos. Secure the bag, Mama! And put yours out! That’s your house. If she cannot respect you as a woman and a mother? You can love her and respect her has your mother, yes. But she can call you a bitch long-distance.