I love how Russell Wilson loves his wife. I love how Ciara has done nothing but glow since she’s been with him. This glow—this Melanin Shimmer here?—is what happens when a woman is loved completely. And well!
I have repeated told my preteen daughters I would love nothing more than for them to find a man that treats them as well as Russell does Ciara. My exact quote was, “Don’t bring something like Future home to me.”
Yes, yes I did!
There is no secret Ciara has mentioned prayer was one of reasons she and Russell got to together. Now, I’m going to do what my faith tells in regards to older women teaching the younger women. This means, I’m going to be honest. This also means I’m going to pull from the experiences seen and heard!
I have been in relationships which demanded I settle for toxic behavior, crazy bullshit and mediocre treatment—believing sex will fix it! Pro-tip: Orgasms do not fix heartbreak.
I repeat—orgasms do not fix heartbreak. But that is an altogether deeper topic. If you just look at the pictures of Ciara and her ex, compared to the pictures taken with her and her husband–you can see how she has transformed! This glow–the glow up as we call it–is from her leaving a situation which no longer added or served her! With the vessel and tool a prayer, she asked God for help (been there!).
Prayer coupled with change produces change! The secret ingredient to love, a healthy love, is patience! It is the willingness to wait for what is for you! The depictions of love in the media (read: for Black women) is they have to suffer and wait and tolerate ill-treatment. Why? Y’know, we can take it.
Read more: Black women are not worthy of a healthy love from the start. They are not worthy to be treated well, to be supported. Black women have shown they thrive on trauma. She will be no different.
You tell me.
I have been a woman for while now, with a failed marriage and other relationships under my belt. I know the glow of what is healthy–because I know what its like to feel as if you are dead on the inside! I get it. I promise I do.
I believe the chant of ‘Give us the prayer sis!’ comes from that place of not seeing the love you want in your own life. As a Black girl, that is a scary place to be in. The world expects us to hold pain and trauma like camels do water. We are supposed to sit in discomfort and doubt as soil in faith that roses of hope will grow from us.