to become what I was
always wanted
to be as I have always wanted to become
to be honest within truth, with my own
truth…to be able and willing to
confess my sins before my heart
and look at what havoc concludes
the love that I have sought is
in my grasp, in my palm
I taste and relish it
yet I cannot have it
this is fault of my own on making
and of my own maintenance
I cry at the loss of it
I have walked away from it
through my own wisdom
knowing that if it is really mine
it will remain…even though I have no right
to ask it to wait,
through broken prayer I have made my peace
with it, what happens I will and must deal with it
to heal at all costs…that is my truth
-Jennifer Bush (now Harris), 2005
