I have been a fan of Will Smith since he was the Fresh Prince, making all these hits with DJ Jazzy Jeff! I mean one of the first raps I learned (aside from It Takes Two) was Parents Just Don’t Understand. Yes, I am that old. So, I remember when he and Jada got married. I remember when she was pregnant–with both Jaden and Willow. I remember how happy they looked,and how thrilled Will seemed to be because he was no longer with mother of his oldest son, Trey.
Now far be it for me to tell how messed up someone else’s relationship is. I, myself, have had 2 failed marriages. So, it would seem that I would have no idea on how to be someone’s wife! When the details broke about August Alsania? I ignored it. Why? I figured it was a publicity stunt! I mean, who would brag about having a sexual relationship with Jada Pinkett–the WIFE of Will Smith?!
Like, who would have the audacity?!
Imagine my surprise when this man came out with pictures, text messages, and all matter of manhood in gray boxer briefs! Imagine my horror when all of Beyonce’s innanet, powered by Black Twitter made all the memes about Jada ‘lying’, and championing August’s shenanigans. But thing that made me break my silence about what is going on was Jada announcing that she would confront these slings and accusations–with WILL at the Red Table.
In this almost 13 minute segment on Red Table Talk, I watched both of them play with language. I saw the semantics. I saw the word play, and I saw the hurt on Will Smiths face. Now, it has been an ‘open secret’ and suspicion the Smiths were in an open relationship. Even Will eluded to this in this comment: “It good to know you can do what you want with no fear of losing your family.” Um, excuse me, sir?!
But the thing that got me in this interview (besides it not being an hour long show like she does with other people–we see you Jada!), was Will’s expressions. He laughed trying to play it off, as if he was ‘passed’ everything they were talking about! the striking thing to me was–his eyes. He looked like he had been crying! But y’know–the innanet and the world at large cannot handle (or conceive) that Black men emote! I do not care what anyone says–this man was hurt! And he was hurt by the person he chose to spend this life with!
What I have always thought was funny about men is how fragile they can be when their hearts are involved! Like, he told Jada, “I was done witcho (witcho=with your (for my non-AAVE speakers) ass!” And he also said, “I’m surprised that I’m even speaking to you!” I really believe the only secret between people whom are famous, and non-famous people is the fact that when we (non-famous people) mess up–the world doesn’t notice or care! I cannot imagine what it feels like for Will Smith, dealing with this–from a woman that he has been with 25 years!
His presence here added an element of fall out to this situation. While Jada was matter of fact, with this demeanor of “I just want to get through this”. Will seemed stuck on “I cannot believe that I have to relive this! I cannot believe I have to come through this again with the world watching!” The part of the twosome who said, “It’s bad boys for life” is dealing with a woman he felt he could not make happy! Y’all saw the show!
In being with someone that long, of course they have dirt and issues. Of course there are things we as a the thirsty, nosy, prying public want to know–but just AIN’T our business! But what Will’s face told me all I needed to know! I have been will. I’ve also been Jada! But with Will being this focus of this part, I saw his heart broken. I saw his emotions go through paces–because he wasn’t safe enough to say what he wanted. There is definitely more to this than we are seeing…
Yet, what I want to do is have us begin to normalize men–especially Black men–being vulnerable. Being emotional! Being able to say, “This is what hurt me, and I don’t want to hurt anymore!” Pain and trauma are inevitable in a world that seeks to devour people–but we never expect that from people we love; whom we think love us. Men experience struggle love too.
Healthy love is for everyone. I hope Will has it.