The Battle of “Pick Me’s”

This rant is courtesy of Facebook. A girl named Vanessa Bobineaux shared this and a FB friend of mine shared it after. This here is the roux of being a ‘Pick Me’. Dig this part though: I said what I said. -JBHarris, 9/1/2020

This is a false equivalence.

For every woman that is “tying to do what a man does”, there is a woman trying to do what she HAS to because the man that promised her help, DID NOT, HAS NOT, or WILL NOT!

This issue is not solely based on “feminist ideology.” Some is this is because men are not being raised or taught as they used to. Some men are TAUGHT a woman is supposed to do everything for you; she must become LESS than in order for you to be secure and right.

Biologically, I know I cannot do everything a man can do. The issue is when a man doesn’t want to do/know how to do all he is supposed to! And because the makeup of women is to nurture and maintain, we fill in the gaps!

We get the second job.

We take the extra shifts.

We take kids for hair cuts and braid appointments.

We change tires and oil.

We tend to you and the kids when you “just can’t do it today.”

We aren’t “losing” our uniqueness—WE ARE TIRED.

For that reason, we have stopped asking for help, because help isn’t coming. We carry the groceries in because we bought them! We go car shopping with Carvana and Car Facts because when some of us ask the men in our lives for help? Then we ‘need too much.’

But no, no, not losing our uniqueness. We are becoming something else—and not by choice. This strength has come from some of us as women tired of asking for help, and no one coming. Most women have no eversion to being taken care of—no woman I know does. We just haven’t been blessed with a partner who can do that consistently. That needs to be factored in as well! Not to mention there are women who need healing from the traumatic lie of “I don’t need a man for nothing”, but keep engaging in toxic behavior with the same people (read: men) they claim no to want.

This is bigger than a post.