When I Think To Hope To Love Again…

Do I think love is a lie? No.

Do I think everyone deserve it? Yes.

Do I think everyone finds it? No.

In this season of my life, am I still a hopeless romantic? I would have to say I’m not. I’m cautious. I am suspicious. I am still healing up from what I went through, and what I am still in. Emotional healing, much like childbirth, is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. It is hard, it is scary, and I am forced to ask myself questions that I thought I shouldn’t have to at this age? The question that I ask myself is two-fold (much like most things right now):

Do I really have what it takes to love someone…again? Do I even want someone to love me…again?

Love takes, requires you to be vulnerable. That kind of vulnerability is from intimacy, from knowing someone. Having the desire to know someone, have them know you? I’m not there yet, and I am not afraid to admit that. I a healing and it is not easy and I do not want to bring my healing a halt ‘to be in love.’

I’m still guarded. I’m still tender. I am too in love with myself to share right now. This time is mine right now. And I haven’t found anyone that I like well enough to try and be in love with them. So, until then? I am happy with me, myself and I.